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If a work colleague is just ignoring you...

Dear All

I was asked to do some work for another office (different time zone).  Initially tried to arrange a call with the director in charge of that office to talk through his requirements.  There was no response, so I sent information / drafts through requesting comments, then sent a couple of chasers, then sent an email saying unless I heard to the contrary, I would start roll out.   

Not one of these (5?) requests and emails over the course of 6 weeks or so has elicited any response at all.   We have never met and I have no way of knowing whether this behaviour is general or just directed  at me.  My question:  should I just plough on regardless, continue to keep them informed and ignore the being ignored part unless it starts seriously interfering with my ability to do my job?  Or should I try to find out (in the nicest possible way) whether this person has some sort of problem with me?  

And / or should I change my approach in some way? 

1654 views
  • I would ask the advice of my Boss. I wouldn't start from the assumption that someone I had never met had a problem with me.

    The chances are if he has a problem its with someone being parachuted in to do work in his fiefdom rather than with you particularly. It sounds like corporate politics so go up your chain.
  • In reply to Keith:

    Thanks, Keith. Sound advice.
  • In reply to Anka:

    !00% with Keith. It isn't your problem now, and wasn't after the first couple of attempts to contact them. Tell your line-manager!
  • Hi Anka,

    I think it is highly unlikely that this is someone ignoring you in particular.

    It could be that this person doesnt recognise your name so doesnt read your messages (thinking they are spam). It could be that you have hit him at an extremely busy period and your messages are buried under other things. It could be that he is actually off ill and hasnt seen your messages, along with lots of other plausible reasons!

    How did this request to help him come through? Did he go through your boss to request the help who then in turn spoke to you? Does this chap actually realise that his request for help has been approved?

    I would ask your boss (or whoever it was that asked you to help this chap out) to send an email to this guy to introduce you, give a bit of context of who you are etc and also maybe the scope of the help you are able to offer etc.

    What I have experienced in the past is that someone says "I need help" which someone picks up on and thinks OK great, Anka would be able to help with that so speaks to you. By which time the original person has either solved the problem themselves or has found someone else to help, but hasnt bothered to tell the first person they no longer need help. It doesnt excuse him not responding to you to let you know he no longer needs your help but it is probably more likely than this chap is ignoring you specifically.

    Dont jump to conclusions - there are plenty of reasons for this happening!
  • In reply to Jeny Parsons:

    Hi Jeny

    Thanks for your input.

    The person has had an email introducing me, "virtually" met me during a Skype call with all of the Board, approved the work himself during said Board meeting and had sufficient time last week, whilst travelling, to engage with my manager at length on an extremely trivial issue.

    This is why I wondered if there might be a personal element to this. I will go with the approach suggested above and alert my manager as and when the non-responses stop me from being able to do the job and otherwise let (potentially) sleeping dogs lie.
  • In reply to David Perry:

    Thanks! Very succinct and also sensible advice. Noted.
  • In reply to Anka:

    It might be he just hates/fears HR people
    Quite a common problem.
  • In reply to Peter Stanway:

    Indeed! Thank you, Peter.
  • In reply to Anka:

    Gosh, OK in that case it is very weird! Strange as you are actually trying to help him with something! Some people are just odd :)
  • Steve Bridger

    | 0 Posts

    Community Manager

    15 May, 2018 12:27

    In reply to Peter Stanway:

    Very droll, Peter ;)
  • In reply to Steve Bridger:

    I think Peter's right.... The difference is that it's usually colleagues who distrust you because they think you're on management's side and management are grateful for your help. After reading Peter's comment, it occurred to me that I may be experiencing the opposite as it is possible the manager thinks any kind of HR intervension interferes with his ability to do as he likes....
  • Thanks again to everyone who provided me with sound advice.

    Just thought I would update you all - after checking with a colleague, I have now established that this person just ignores everyone. Same colleague assured me that the person had been on a conference call with her so "we know he's alive." :)
  • In reply to Anka:

    Perhaps its worth remembering that its not always a good idea to assume something.  As 'Assume' often makes an 'ass out of u & me  

  • Resurrecting this thread as next month I will be able to celebrate the 1 year's anniversary of this person communicating with me in any way, shape or form! Thinking of sending them an e-card to this effect (joke).
    Talked to manager who told me to try again. Same (non-)reaction. Any further suggestions welcome.
  • In reply to Anka:

    You could arrange a surprise visit with flowers and chocolate for your "non-communication anniversary" :-)