It sounds that the delivery was not the issue, more the fact that they were challenged.
I take it they have changed the colour since taking the role? If not, this should have been addressed verbally at the offer stage, with the dress code clearly highlighted.
You have the proof that they were informed so they now need to adhere to the policy or resign if it means that much to them. Any conflict appears to be on their side. Approach them and ask if they are willing to change the colour so they adhere to the policy or if not, you are happy to accept their resignation. Dress code is there for a reason.

Hi Chelsey - are you this employee's line manager? I would suggest this is a conversation that they should be having rather than HR. However if it does fall within your remit I would be asking what element they don't understand around the rules. It would be their choice to leave if that's what they choose to do and perhaps you can see if you reach some middle ground - maybe something less dramatic.

Dress codes are much more casual in some schools and in most workplaces these days, but in my experience, the culture of independent schools expects formal business dress, natural hair colours, and no visible tattoos. If that's not a world that is familiar to you, it feels very restrictive, and I can understand why your employee feels hurt by this being raised - effectively she has been told that the way she chooses to present herself is inappropriate.

When I have had similar conversations, I frame things in relation to pupils - teachers in schools with strict and formal uniforms for pupils need to be able to model the same. It's much harder to insist on a dress code for pupils that the adults among them ignore. That means that dying hair an extreme colour (now I'm fascinated about what colour) during the summer holidays might be something you'd applaud - but when pupils are present, they need to dress according to the school expectations.

It might be worth having a gentle conversation with her about how she feels - whether this was the final straw when she had been feeling unhappy or was lacking in confidence about her new role, or whether she simply wants a job where she has the flexibility to be herself at work. The fact that your school isn't the place for that might mean that her resignation is the right step for her.

Good luck.

Nina

I completely agree with Nina. As a person who has decided to live their life with dyed blue hair, I would no longer be willing to work in an environment where my individuality is expected to be more conformist. Her defensive tone most likely had nothing to do with the delivery; probably more the realisation of the circumstance they've found themselves in. It's such a shame for all concerned. jo

Is hair colour mentioned in the policy? What is mentioned? "strict dress code" can be left open to interpretation, I know this because we are having a similar issue. Our policy simply states "smart appearance" but everyone's idea of that is completely different. What's classed as extreme just curious?

In reply to Fiona:

Hi Fiona,
Yes our code states that "Staff should model the school’s expectations of students with regard to clothing and hair styles e.g. modest clothes, suitable footwear and no extreme haircuts or colour." We class extreme as any colour which is not natural e.g. greens, purples, blues, pinks etc.

Hi Chelsey, thanks for the response. In my opinion this wording is still open to interpretation, unless the dress code is expressly written it's debatable in my opinion. So listed like long sleeve blouse, knee length skirt etc, is it? We rely on people to have a "common sense approach" but in my experience this doesn't work. I'm only saying this because we are in a similar predicament ourselves where a member of staff is coming to work with a lot of flesh on show, but in her head she thinks thats ok. That's her interpretation of suitable workwear. It's not an easy thing to deal with unfortunately.

Whether the dress code policy is appropriate/reasonable and whether it is okay not to follow it are two different things. If the dress code is found to be unnecessary or inflexible (or even, discriminatory) by more employees then it should be reviewed. But simply ignoring it and going against it because they disagree with it is not acceptable.

In reply to Anna:

Hi Anna,

From what I know we have never had any issue like this before with the dress code. I think it is common knowledge that when you work in an education setting with children there are going to be quite strict rules on what you can and can't do including dress code. I think we have been reasonable as we have given her till after the Easter holidays to rectify the hair colour to a more natural option so we haven't tried to enforce it straight away. I myself have tattoos that I have to cover up but these are the things we must do to abide by the code as children are easily influenced and I don't think it is fair for a staff member to have an extreme hair colour when we are telling the students that they are unable to. Hope this makes sense.

Chelsey

In reply to Fiona:

Hi Fiona,

Maybe this is something we need to look at and make more specific to avoid any confusion as the code only states "extreme hair colour" but as you say this is open to interpretation. Thank you for your views and I'll definitely take this onboard.

Chelsey

The world is so fluid that unless it's written, then it's up for debate and people as you know will push but that's why we have a job :)

Exactly. If having the hair colour that is not belnding eith the general workplace culture, they always have an option to find another workplace that does welcome such hair colour. Plus if anyone is arguing that "well you don't have a line reading that you are not allowed to have blue hair", they are essentially asking to have everything in the world to be listed as Dos and Don'ts. And i think it is very reasonable to ask the staff to behave in line with how the school asks the students to behave. Both in fairness and in example-setting contexts.

Hi Chelsey

I agree with everyone's stance on the dress code from an enforcement perspective, however, am saddened by attitudes towards these things in the workplace generally as being a measure of professionalism/performance in a job.

I Head up HR in a MAT and every month I change my hair colour between blue, green, pink, purple (sometimes I go blonde or brown but become bored rather quickly!). I also have a lot of large tattoos that I do not always cover up. I have great discussions with pupils around choices they can make once they are an adult around hair colour etc. There has also been zero concerns or complaints raised from parents, pupils, staff or unions regarding my appearance.

Perhaps this could be where your dress code is reviewed to understand why you think hair colour is an issue? You may choose to keep the current wording, but I would ask would you dismiss a high performing employee or not employ a fantastic teacher over their hair colour choice?

Thanks for starting this thread, Chelsey. Dress code comes up a lot (and we have had some corkers!)... but not so much in a school setting, so I'm appreciating that nuance in this discussion.

In reply to Steve Bridger:

Hi Steve,

It's definitely an interesting topic with lots of different views and I've found everyone's input really helpful. If it were up to me it would definitely be slightly more relaxed as I have tattoos myself and don't think these should measure ones professionalism but at the moment this is the code we have to follow. I will however make some suggestions to higher stakeholders to perhaps relax this more in future.

Chelsey