Hi Alison, thank you for posting about your situation here, I'm really sorry to hear about what you and your partner are dealing with at such a stressful time. Hopefully our Community members will be able to give you some useful support and guidance. You may also want to contact the personal legal helpline for a chat about your work situation. It's free for CIPD members, here's the details (scroll down to reach the personal helpline and you'll need to log into the CIPD website): www.cipd.co.uk/.../advice-support

Would it be worth you putting in a formal flexible working request? You could then have a discussion regarding your needs and they would have to have a legitimate reason to deny your request.

I am deeply sorry to hear what you are having to deal with Alison.

There should, of course, be a well-framed articulation by the business of why, exactly, they think that 3 days a week as a mandatory minimum is essential for the business's needs.

I have spent most of my time working from home and going into the office one day a week (I only work 4 days anyway) which seems to work as most people have been continuing to work from home.

So there's no actual *reason* for you to the be in the office and you would, in fact, do your job better if you remained working remotely.

I have been asked to spend more time in the office and resume travelling for business

Have they provided any justification for this request? Given that you can demonstrably do your work remotely and are statistically going to be between 6% and 13% more efficient under normal circumstances (and probably vastly more than that, given your personal situation), they would need a very impressive reasoning to justify demanding that you return.

which under normal circumstances would be no problem

Except that you are obviously able to do your job remotely and are, in fact, better at it when you are permitted to do so.

I appreciate I am Head of HR and need to be present for staff

No, you don't. You need to do your job to the best of your ability. Sometimes that will mean that your physical presence is beneficial but, the majority of the time, it doesn't.

but feel that I have been given an ultimatum - either I do it or resign.

Not so much a request, then?

This is pretty much a textbook set up for Constructive Unfair Dismissal. If you have been given a clear and evidenced impression that you must comply or resign, you should resign with immediate effect and consult a solicitor to prepare a claim of unfair dismissal on the grounds of disability discrimination by association.

Unless there is a compelling reason for you to be physically present in the office - and a vague sense that leadership roles should be "visible" or "present" doesn't count - they are placing you into an impossible position.

In reply to Robey:

Thanks for your response; the argument is that they want all the senior managers to be "visible" and "present" in the office 3 days a week to encourage better engagement and morale. Most of the senior managers are happy with this bar one. Personally I am happy to be in 2 days a week but 3 days is too much given my circumstances and do not want to travel to our other site which is 2.5 hours away.

I have another meeting tomorrow with my MD.

In reply to Alison:

Good luck, Alison... you seem perfectly willing to be flexible and turning 2 days into 3 seems arbitrary to many of us, I think. I hope you feel able to stand your ground.

In reply to Alison:

I hope Alison that sense prevails. It sounds very much like you are making attempts to broker a solution that works for both the business, your role and your personal circumstances. I'd hope a reasonable MD in a business that wants to retain people in a cost of living crisis, and where pipelines of talent can be hard to come by, especially when they are looking for more flexibility in work location rather than less, would realise this is worth serious consideration. Your husband's health and well being as well as your own in supporting him living with cancer, are worth flexibility in mandating presence in the office and being visible.

I do wonder if the MD's steadfastness is down to other factors or other leaders and might be worth exploring if you are able to and have a good realtionship with them. Good luck.

Thanks all for your advice. My MD is not being flexible and the only option is to be prepared to go to Romania on a periodic basis (undefined) or a settlement agreement. They have offer me statutory pay in lieu of notice + 2 months which seems low to me and my solicitor to settle any claims of potential disability discrimination by association. What does everyone think please? I do not want to make a claim as the stress of this on top of my husband's medical condition is overwhelming. Equally I do not really want to leave but have no options. Given I am also the wrong side of 50, despite all we know about age discrimination etc, I still feel it is harder for my age group to get alternative comparable employment.

In reply to Alison:

Hi Alison, really sorry to read your update. Just wondering if you managed to contact the member free legal helpline to discuss your case? It was very helpful for me when facing a difficult situation. Link as follows:
www.cipd.co.uk/.../advice-support

In reply to Alison:

Fighting tribunal is very hard work and it is stressful so not to ne undertaken lightly.
They clearly either want you to go or or not worried either way.
As for how much is a good deal, then that depends on your length of service. they ought to give you at least your redundancy entitlement. I would focus on getting them to improve their offer.
Whilst i would like to say that getting employment in your fifties is easy, it is not especially if you want something less than full time.

In reply to Alison:

I would see their offer as an opening one, but it also sets their expectations. Two months isn't generous but isnt necessarily insulting either. 3-4 months is probably (guess work) limit of what can be achieved by negotiations.

I wouldn't be thinking big numbers based on the alleged discrimination by association personally

In reply to Alison:

hi Alison
contact ACAS who can initially deal with your case prior to solicitors, I understand where you're coming from with age though, good luck

In reply to Alison:

I'm adding my commiserations too. Facing the prospect of challenging this and potential future job hunting, alongside your husband's medical condition must feel very challenging indeed.

I guess I'd add, do you really want to stay? Can you stay? How do you feel were you to stay with the conditions they have put on the table?

If you cannot see a way to stay then the decision is to go, with a settlement agreement and the best that you can manage. They usually expect to negotiate so negotiate hard to the point where you feel okay to accept the final offer they put on the table. You can then move on to support your husband and look after yourself as you go on to find another job. Career coaching is a good thing to use for that and perhaps you can add in some support for that in the agreement. Sometimes employers go for 'softer' options like outplacement and training and equipment as they don't see those as 'hard cash'.

Take care and good luck.