Wednesday 24th July - the day that, for the first time ever, I really did not have a clue what to do next... Here's some fun for your hump day afternoon (no pun originally intended but I'm really laughing at myself over here)

Employee A opens drawer in large open plan workspace (currently hosting c.20-30 employees) and something falls into the bin below - Employee A picks it up from the bin, and realises with a squeal that it is an intimate toy, in it's box, complete with USB charger and illustrations for use.

Aforementioned item in box has been handed to me covertly, wrapped in a tea towel with the words 'its not mine but someone has obviously lost it and I don't know how to get it back to the owner'

It's now locked in my desk drawer, I feel like I can hear it screaming 'WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME NOW' 

I can't keep it a secret as the whole workspace were allegedly crowded around it howling with laughter, the owner probably won't want to claim it back from HR (I cannot even believe I'm typing this) and I certainly do not want to keep it - nor can I throw it away as the office cleaners would have a field day!

Not sure if anyone will have any ideas in particular, but it's probably the strangest thing that has happened to me in my 9 years in HR! 

EDIT - we had a period of months last year where someone kept leaving NSFW books in the book club in the communal kitchen - I genuinely thought the person who handed it to me was continuing the wind up but the item is present in the box and it was handed to me by a Manager so I doubt it...