In reply to Sharon Lesley:

Hi Sharon,
All in the same department but seemingly 'random' locations - we did suspect potentially that all 3 were planted at the same time although two of the managers are searching in the evenings and mornings every single day so I'm not sure I agree with that line of thought anymore. There has been talk of putting a camera up (not something I like the idea of but might be necessary)

I have a few growing concerns because I think we're past the 'throw it in the bin and shut up this isn't real HR work' point (I was right there with everyone else initially, I just couldn't believe it had happened hence posting on here):

1. They're male specific sex toys and arguably you could say they're aimed at gay men in particular (packaging, etc)
2. There are two gay men in the department that we know of, one supervisor and one employee (one very openly gay and candid about it, the other not so much)
3. We have come to a point where people aren't laughing about it anymore. The most recent one found was (without question) used and certainly not clean. People are discussing hygiene etc and the situation is simmering up.


I originally thought the best thing to do was to not add fuel to the fire and to keep quiet to discourage whoever it is because they clearly want a reaction but I worry that if another one turns up it could cause a serious issue.

In reply to Catherine:

Well this is clearly far beyond a joke, now.

The LM needs to bring staff in the affected area together in one place, tell them what is happening openly (because there may be people who have found other things who've not told anyone out of embarrassment or intimidation) and make it clear that this behaviour isn't amusing. The LM should tell them that the matter is being investigated and anyone with information should come forward and speak privately to the investigator. If the guilty party chooses to come forward, then this will be taken in mitigation. If there are no further incidents of this or any similar nature, it will be taken in mitigation. If not, and the perpetrator is identified, then that, too, will be taken into account - and not in a good way!

If their intention is to "get a reaction" then withholding the reaction will only encourage them to further extremes (as you've already seen). There must be a reaction, and it must be public, professional and final.

In reply to Catherine:

It's really weird, unsettling behaviour for a professional workplace. Because it's in one dept, and everyone seems aware of it, can that manager contact his/her whole floor and ask if anyone knows anything about it to contact them as the matter has escalated and is now being viewed very seriously. It could be that someone is planting them to embarrass/get other colleagues in trouble. Just an idea from a line manager perspective!

In reply to Robey:

our posts crossed Robey but saying same thing!

In reply to Robey:

Hi Robey and Johanna - I have suggested this exact approach no less than 6 times so far but the manager and head of department aren't interested at all. We are in our busiest two months of the year and I think everyone wants to sweep it under the rug and get on with their day. I'm finding the whole thing really inappropriate, disgusting, and irritating if I'm honest and it's even more annoying that I'm spending time in my already too busy diary talking about it.

I feel like a sitting duck waiting for a grievance to come in

In reply to Catherine:

Is that perhaps the angle you should take when trying to influence the manager and head of department to take action now? 'There is a high likelihood this situation will result in a member of the team raising a grievance given the nature of the conduct. As this will require input from the management team at an already busy time of year, a proactive approach now may be of benefit to all concerned'.

In reply to Catherine:

Hi Catherine

Behaviour related to a protected characteristic with the purpose or effect of violating dignity or creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment - you couldn't have a clearer example of harassment. The organisation (represented by you, the manager and the head of department) knows that these objects are being left. It knows that there are two gay men in the area being targeted (there may be others who are not out or who are only out to a few people). It suspects that this behaviour could be intended to embarrass the gap staff and it seems to me that this is a reasonable deduction to make.

So the organisation knows about harassment and is failing to protect anyone from it. What comes next might be a grievance. It might be someone walking out, followed by an ET1. It might be someone going off sick with anxiety. Or it might be that your LGBTQ+ staff feel they are working in an unsympathetic environment and feel they can't be their true selves at work - that's stressful and tends to reduce creativity and engagement. They may tell friends outside work that their employer allows this kind of harassment to go on. You end up looking like a bunch of dinosaurs with a less diverse workforce because there are now people who won't apply to work for you.

The staff meeting would take 5 minutes. If they won't hold a staff meeting, send an email. But you absolutely must be seen to take a stand against this.

I started out thinking this thread was funny but in the second page it suddenly got very dark.

Does anyone know if this is criminal behaviour, particularly the soiled object?

In reply to Elizabeth Divver:

I couldn't agree more Elizabeth, it's really on my mind (I'm even dreaming about it!).

I phoned the manager again this afternoon and got a similar response - I'm going to ask to meet with him face to face tomorrow

In reply to Catherine:

Aren't interested or too embarrassed/cowardly? It's when things get weird that managers earn their money.

I don't know what you relationship is with the leadership of this team, but I would be inclined to go over their heads if they won't engage with the problem.

In reply to Robey:

That thought (going to a senior level) crossed my mind too. It's the obviously used item that for me pushes this over a line from practical joke to something really nasty.

The other thing I thought is that it would be easy for a manager who doesn't want to act to characterise this as humourless nanny HR who can't take a joke, but better that than this escalates even further - this must be approaching hate crime territory.

@Catherine - rather than raise this face to face one more time, perhaps you should email the manage cc their manager with a brief statement of why it is creating risk to let this continue without an overt attempt to protect the staff.

In reply to Elizabeth Divver:

I've escalated both in writing and face to face and been met with 'oh it's over and done with now' 'we'll have to wait to see if it happens again' - no one seems overly fussed about it, perhaps I'm being OTT in my reaction?

I know the team, supervisors and manager really well and would hope they all know I've got a good sense of humour - I tried to explain yesterday that this goes past the point of HR fun police and into territory where actually I'm offended now - I don't want used sex toys being handed to me, I don't want to keep them in my desk or office and I certainly don't want anyone in the organisation to think it is remotely ok behaviour at work. What we all do at home is our decision but it has no place in an office.

In reply to Catherine:

Catherine

Gosh, this is not a prank, or if it started that way someone has well and truly long jumped over the line.

Everyone and you have indicated what you need to do going forward, but something has to be done now.

If managers are checking evening and mornings, you have quite a short period of time when it was checked and the third object appeared. Do you have a night shift or any workers in on late duties. Can you narrow down the list.

Its going to be a difficult issue to deal with as people will have such a range of responses from embarrassment to outrage.

It is easy sometimes to assume that, due to the nature of the items, the target will be one or both of the gay men, but it may not be, it could just be someone being nasty or it could be a gay person targeting someone else

Good luck

Sharon

In reply to Sharon Lesley:

Hi Sharon - the bizarre thing is no one seems to have any feelings about it at all, it's been brushed off and forgotten about...

We tried not to assume re the target or targets of the items but the third one and the condition it was in left no doubt if I'm honest.

I'm going to speak to the HoD one final time if I see him today