CEO to HR: "You are simply only here to advise me..."

"You are here simply to advise me".

And help the business operate within the UK's legal framework.

And design people management systems to create the conditions for people to do their best work.

And handle all the boring transactional stuff so that everything simply happens on time and right, all the time.

And. And. And.

But your CEO knows this, in spite of what he said. Others have already picked up on this, but your CEO was making a point and administering a slap-down.

There is a conversation I have had to have with more than one MD/CEO/other director when they have administered what seemed to them a proportionate corrective word that was interpreted by the recipient as a massive dressing down:

You loom very large in the working lives of your staff. Anything you say is of great significance to them and is considered and analysed because it was the CEO who said it. The more senior you get, the less you need to stress a point.

So my advice would be to let this go. If you get the same message a second time, that might be when you start to form the view that HR is not valued by this CEO.

"You are here simply to advise me".

And help the business operate within the UK's legal framework.

And design people management systems to create the conditions for people to do their best work.

And handle all the boring transactional stuff so that everything simply happens on time and right, all the time.

And. And. And.

But your CEO knows this, in spite of what he said. Others have already picked up on this, but your CEO was making a point and administering a slap-down.

There is a conversation I have had to have with more than one MD/CEO/other director when they have administered what seemed to them a proportionate corrective word that was interpreted by the recipient as a massive dressing down:

You loom very large in the working lives of your staff. Anything you say is of great significance to them and is considered and analysed because it was the CEO who said it. The more senior you get, the less you need to stress a point.

So my advice would be to let this go. If you get the same message a second time, that might be when you start to form the view that HR is not valued by this CEO.

Or, put another way:

HR’s Halloween Horrors

From ghoulies and ghosties and long-legged beasties
and things that go “bump” in the night
Be they forklifts or falling they’re all so appalling
that the cost of them gives us a fright.

Then’ there’s strikes unexpected from workers neglected,
can anyone save us from these?
Must the burden of law make us cry out some more,
when in-voiced for Solicitor’s fees?

Can we save reputation with a little creation?
The answer is simple of course,
Ask HR for the know-how and we’ll very soon show how,
-to manage the Human Resource.

Our theories won’t frighten, and your burdens will lighten,
with a policy simple and fair.
Your insurers will love you and the HSE will too.
For we’ll keep them all out of your hair.

No blood will be spilled, and no sacrifice killed,
‘though It’s spooky the magic we do,
Our wizardry’s easy, trust us and you’ll soon see
What mazes HR helps you through.

With a fine Witch’s hat and a matching black cat,
we’ll be solving your problems in no time
We need no goblin chorus to sweep all before us,
just call for our help and it’s Showtime!

Bravo, Peter! - Musing now that TS Eliot wrote mysteriously about his ‘compound ghost’ but that Charles Causley’s castle ghost maybe faced the same problems as many HR folk in getting due attention:

Colonel Fazackerley Butterworth-Toast
Bought an old castle complete with a ghost,
But someone or other forgot to declare
To Colonel Fazak that the spectre was there.

On the very first evening, while waiting to dine,
The Colonel was taking a fine sherry wine,
When the ghost, with a furious flash and a flare,
Shot out of the chimney and shivered, 'Beware!'

Colonel Fazackerley put down his glass
And said, 'My dear fellow, that's really first class!
I just can't conceive how you do it at all.
I imagine you're going to a Fancy Dress Ball?'

At this, the dread ghost made a withering cry.
Said the Colonel (his monocle firm in his eye),
'Now just how you do it, I wish I could think.
Do sit down and tell me, and please have a drink.'

The ghost in his phosphorous cloak gave a roar
And floated about between ceiling and floor.
He walked through a wall and returned through a pane
And backed up the chimney and came down again.

Said the Colonel, 'With laughter I'm feeling quite weak!'
(As trickles of merriment ran down his cheek).
'My house-warming party I hope you won't spurn.
You MUST say you'll come and you'll give us a turn!'

At this, the poor spectre - quite out of his wits -
Proceeded to shake himself almost to bits.
He rattled his chains and he clattered his bones
And he filled the whole castle with mumbles and moans.

But Colonel Fazackerley, just as before,
Was simply delighted and called out, 'Encore!'
At which the ghost vanished, his efforts in vain,
And never was seen at the castle again.

'Oh dear, what a pity!' said Colonel Fazak.
'I don't know his name, so I can't call him back.'
And then with a smile that was hard to define,
Colonel Fazackerley went in to dine.