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Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Robey

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

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  • I love this thread!

    Too many to choose from but..

    Employee: "I think it's disappointing that the company expects us to stay 15 minutes later than our finish time."

    What I wanted to say: "Sorry you're disappointed that we've tried to do something nice and offer a FREE, VOLUNTARY massage during work time and you feel that making back 15 minutes is unreasonable if you were to have one. Feel free to ignore any future benefits and now that we think about it, you're actually in a deficit from all of the personal development sessions that we've invested in. How would you like to make back that time?"

    A Senior Manager got there before me and said words to that effect (much more diplomatically of course).
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  • I love this thread!

    Too many to choose from but..

    Employee: "I think it's disappointing that the company expects us to stay 15 minutes later than our finish time."

    What I wanted to say: "Sorry you're disappointed that we've tried to do something nice and offer a FREE, VOLUNTARY massage during work time and you feel that making back 15 minutes is unreasonable if you were to have one. Feel free to ignore any future benefits and now that we think about it, you're actually in a deficit from all of the personal development sessions that we've invested in. How would you like to make back that time?"

    A Senior Manager got there before me and said words to that effect (much more diplomatically of course).
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