Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents
  • Me: Hi, how are you?

    Employee: (sigh ... back of hand placed dramatically to brow) Oh, really busy

    Voice in my head: Ah, yeah, that's actually what I'm paying you for. I'm really not sure why that is remarkable and is the very least I expect.

    Me: Well let me know if you need a hand or to discuss your workload
Reply
  • Me: Hi, how are you?

    Employee: (sigh ... back of hand placed dramatically to brow) Oh, really busy

    Voice in my head: Ah, yeah, that's actually what I'm paying you for. I'm really not sure why that is remarkable and is the very least I expect.

    Me: Well let me know if you need a hand or to discuss your workload
Children
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