Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents
  • Employee: I cant do reception, im busy, why cant X do it?

    What I would like to say: Because its YOUR ********Job. The one you were originally hired for which X already covers for you when you flit off without telling people you are going and when you take half an hour extra for lunch especially when senior managers are not around!

Reply
  • Employee: I cant do reception, im busy, why cant X do it?

    What I would like to say: Because its YOUR ********Job. The one you were originally hired for which X already covers for you when you flit off without telling people you are going and when you take half an hour extra for lunch especially when senior managers are not around!

Children