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Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Robey

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents
  • When a valued employee leaves and a manager asks me "Why didn't HR tell me this person was going to leave"

    What I want to say: I did tell you. Repeatedly. I told you all the risks about overloading a good employee and spoke to you several times about managing workload in your team properly. Do your job

    What I actually say: Obviously we are not getting the most out of our regular meetings to discuss issues like these- how can we make them more effective?
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  • When a valued employee leaves and a manager asks me "Why didn't HR tell me this person was going to leave"

    What I want to say: I did tell you. Repeatedly. I told you all the risks about overloading a good employee and spoke to you several times about managing workload in your team properly. Do your job

    What I actually say: Obviously we are not getting the most out of our regular meetings to discuss issues like these- how can we make them more effective?
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