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Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Robey

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

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  • I would love to say to people sometimes "wtf do you think flexibility means exactly"
  • in reply to Samantha

    Recall that once being cast by some very militant union reps in a meeting as the evil, villainous running dog of The Management around Christmas time led to my telling them at length and with some gravity and earnestness  that I could do with a nice big new whip for Christmas in order more effectively to flog the workforce into making greater efforts and all the better to beat them into submission.

    Fortunately, (I think) most of them were amused rather than upset, but I should only have thought it and not said it

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  • in reply to Samantha

    Recall that once being cast by some very militant union reps in a meeting as the evil, villainous running dog of The Management around Christmas time led to my telling them at length and with some gravity and earnestness  that I could do with a nice big new whip for Christmas in order more effectively to flog the workforce into making greater efforts and all the better to beat them into submission.

    Fortunately, (I think) most of them were amused rather than upset, but I should only have thought it and not said it

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