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Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Robey

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents
  • Not to employees, but to candidates when rejecting their application (some not all): 'you have not been successful in your application because you don't meet any of the criteria for the role. Clearly you didn't read the advert before applying and you've wasted a lot of my precious time to have to read your CV and then send this rejection email to you. Please never apply again'.
    Obviously i would of course never send such a thing.
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  • Not to employees, but to candidates when rejecting their application (some not all): 'you have not been successful in your application because you don't meet any of the criteria for the role. Clearly you didn't read the advert before applying and you've wasted a lot of my precious time to have to read your CV and then send this rejection email to you. Please never apply again'.
    Obviously i would of course never send such a thing.
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