Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents Reply
  • I encountered this before in a job interview where there seemed to be an expectation that a large part of HR's job was to do "the difficult conversations" in lieu of managers. I was quite explicit that I considered this to be part of a manager's duties and, although I'd support and advise them, the task of having the actual conversation wasn't something I thought a good manager could or should delegate.

    Didn't get the job!
Children
  • Seems similar to a time where I was asked in an interview how I liked dealing with confrontation. I answered that 'nobody enjoys confrontation but here's how I handle it....' and got pulled up afterwards because apparently I should have been more eager for it! I got the role and it was a very confrontational position initially because it was expected that HR had those difficult conversations. I did change the culture but it took a while!
  • I failed to get one of my first "proper" HR positions (I had been "doing" HR in previous management roles for some time before admitting it) because the other candidate interviewed was a woman. It was explained (very kindly) to me after the interviews that because the "HR" role would include telling people they were dismissed or redundant on behalf of the company, it was felt the "bad news" would come better from a woman!

    ....It was all right in the '80s!