Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents
  • Looking at HR Admin applications a candidate on their online application had the email "sexytest**cles". My response - your experience does not match the criteria for the role. What I really wanted to say was "for gods sake, use a professional email address, how do you expect anyone to take you seriously. Turns out he was in a "Cabaret Group" at the weekend. Did a Mr Google to find out more. Gave us all a real laugh in the office.
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  • Looking at HR Admin applications a candidate on their online application had the email "sexytest**cles". My response - your experience does not match the criteria for the role. What I really wanted to say was "for gods sake, use a professional email address, how do you expect anyone to take you seriously. Turns out he was in a "Cabaret Group" at the weekend. Did a Mr Google to find out more. Gave us all a real laugh in the office.
Children