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Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Robey

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents
  • Employee when being told that their pay was lower this month due to Company sick pay ending: If I knew that I would have come back. I will be in tomorrow.

    Me: I'd suggest speak to your manager so they know you plan to return, visit your GP for a FIT note and let us know if you require any support on your return.

    What I wanted to say: You cheeky so and so, it's probably just a coincidence that you last returned from long-term sickness when your pay expired too isn't it?!
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  • Employee when being told that their pay was lower this month due to Company sick pay ending: If I knew that I would have come back. I will be in tomorrow.

    Me: I'd suggest speak to your manager so they know you plan to return, visit your GP for a FIT note and let us know if you require any support on your return.

    What I wanted to say: You cheeky so and so, it's probably just a coincidence that you last returned from long-term sickness when your pay expired too isn't it?!
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