Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents
  • What a weak, verging on bullying manager said to me in a 'performance improvement prep meeting'
    "I'm sick and tired of going round in circles with this team member. I want HR in bed with me now on this one!"
    What I said, "I'm here to support you by ensuring that you fairly apply the performance improvement policy - I/HR are supporting you"
    What my face said "Eeeeeewwwwwww - no thanks!"
Reply
  • What a weak, verging on bullying manager said to me in a 'performance improvement prep meeting'
    "I'm sick and tired of going round in circles with this team member. I want HR in bed with me now on this one!"
    What I said, "I'm here to support you by ensuring that you fairly apply the performance improvement policy - I/HR are supporting you"
    What my face said "Eeeeeewwwwwww - no thanks!"
Children
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