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Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Robey

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents
  • I am the office manager in the construction industry. The new assistant administrator didn't turn up for work at 8am. At 10.50am she sent a weekly email to the team. I responded asking if she was working from home (I hadn't been asked for permission previously and was expecting her in the office). Her response? (and I quote) "Certainly looks that way". I wanted to respond "Well in the normal working world you would ask your line manager (me) for permission BEFOREHAND. I would like to see you Monday morning to give you a bo**ocking. You are hungover and if you have work the next day, you shouldn't go out on the lash". What I said was "Going forward, please ask me beforehand if you wish to work from home".
    I should add that I have the added issue that her dad works in our team and is best mates and drinking buddies with our boss....
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  • I am the office manager in the construction industry. The new assistant administrator didn't turn up for work at 8am. At 10.50am she sent a weekly email to the team. I responded asking if she was working from home (I hadn't been asked for permission previously and was expecting her in the office). Her response? (and I quote) "Certainly looks that way". I wanted to respond "Well in the normal working world you would ask your line manager (me) for permission BEFOREHAND. I would like to see you Monday morning to give you a bo**ocking. You are hungover and if you have work the next day, you shouldn't go out on the lash". What I said was "Going forward, please ask me beforehand if you wish to work from home".
    I should add that I have the added issue that her dad works in our team and is best mates and drinking buddies with our boss....
Children