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Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Robey

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents
  • It's great we're getting all these prompts each time someone comments.

    I thought of another one. This one came up a couple of times where employees were genuinely hurt when I told them the lunch break they take is unpaid and is worked on top of their contractual hours.

    Employee: "But I have never worked anywhere where it was unpaid...I guess I was lucky but I always had a paid break"

    Me on the inside: "Oh honey.... you've been here 10 years and that's why you got so used to the luxuries of the overpaid role you're in you forgot what it's like out there in the real world. Also it is now evident that you've been doing 1 hour less work that you're contractually paid to do every day for the last 10 years".

    Me in reality: "It is usually the case that any breaks, including lunch breaks are unpaid. Perhaps you might want to see a copy of the contract, and adjust your working hours to incorporate a break moving forward".
Reply
  • It's great we're getting all these prompts each time someone comments.

    I thought of another one. This one came up a couple of times where employees were genuinely hurt when I told them the lunch break they take is unpaid and is worked on top of their contractual hours.

    Employee: "But I have never worked anywhere where it was unpaid...I guess I was lucky but I always had a paid break"

    Me on the inside: "Oh honey.... you've been here 10 years and that's why you got so used to the luxuries of the overpaid role you're in you forgot what it's like out there in the real world. Also it is now evident that you've been doing 1 hour less work that you're contractually paid to do every day for the last 10 years".

    Me in reality: "It is usually the case that any breaks, including lunch breaks are unpaid. Perhaps you might want to see a copy of the contract, and adjust your working hours to incorporate a break moving forward".
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