Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents
  • So many to choose from but my favourite was:

    Employee: I've heard that I can opt out of paying income tax and I want to do that as I don't like paying tax.

    What we wanted to say: Seriously?!? Is this a genuine question?!?

    What we actually said: Thank you for your email. Income tax is compulsory and we are unable to opt you out.
Reply
  • So many to choose from but my favourite was:

    Employee: I've heard that I can opt out of paying income tax and I want to do that as I don't like paying tax.

    What we wanted to say: Seriously?!? Is this a genuine question?!?

    What we actually said: Thank you for your email. Income tax is compulsory and we are unable to opt you out.
Children
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