Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

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  • My other half is an ex union rep who worked in an industry where they had massive power. Now he doesn't and he struggles to understand how the real world works. I've had to stop him asking for all sorts of crazy 'bonuses' and 'additional payments' and concentrate on negotiating on his wage only.
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