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Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Robey

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents
  • A discussion with an employee over her attitude and overall behaviour towards her colleagues, her reason was that we are just "soft over-sensitive southerners" whilst she is just a "blunt northerner who tells it like it is".

    Whilst I was incredibly tempted to tell her what it is actually is like (the polite version along the lines of "no you're just a rude entitled over-promoted twit who uses rudeness to try to hide your poor performance and insecurities") the need to pay the mortgage meant that I refrained and asked her to be mindful of how she was coming across to others, and reminded her that should any further incidences arise she could face formal proceedings (there was a long long history to this one).
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  • A discussion with an employee over her attitude and overall behaviour towards her colleagues, her reason was that we are just "soft over-sensitive southerners" whilst she is just a "blunt northerner who tells it like it is".

    Whilst I was incredibly tempted to tell her what it is actually is like (the polite version along the lines of "no you're just a rude entitled over-promoted twit who uses rudeness to try to hide your poor performance and insecurities") the need to pay the mortgage meant that I refrained and asked her to be mindful of how she was coming across to others, and reminded her that should any further incidences arise she could face formal proceedings (there was a long long history to this one).
Children