Hi Richard.
To be honest I could have written this myself so I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm always the one who is expected to organise the Christmas party, work days out/events etc and it's my worst nightmare. I hate it, I overthink it and then I bury my head in the sand with it which I know isn't the best way to deal with it but it's my automatic defense mechanism. My Line Manager is aware I struggle with events planning and that sort of thing and she helps me out when I'm getting overwhelmed but I do sometimes ask myself "how did I end up being expected to do this?". A lot of it is because I'm a people pleaser and hate saying no, which is even harder to do in a work environment. But it's okay to ask for help, explain you feel out of your depth and politely say no if you feel uncomfortable with being nominated to do something. I'm not sure if any of my waffling has been helpful at all, but all this to say you're definitely not the only one.

Hi Richard,

I absolutely empathise with you on this - I found myself in a similar scenario not too long ago.

In my case, I opted to form a "Culture Committee" - a group of 5 or 6 people from across the business, to contribute ideas and assist with the social and cultural function of the business. It meant that I could take responsibility and lead that group, but could also delegate out some of the tasks that really didn't fit into my skillset or my comfort zone.

It does also have other benefits - a more diverse pool for ideas, opening up the culture of the business to those people that actually dictate the culture etc.

Is that an option for you?

In reply to Thomas:

That's a great idea, I might have to look into doing something like that myself!

Not so much from the introvert side of things but from generally just being too busy too have time to organise the social events. In a previous company I often used to get employees come to me to moan (and it was definitely moaning) that we didn't do enough team building/social events etc. I used to push this back to "ok, well if you have some ideas or if you can gather some suggestions among your team, I will be happy to raise this in our next managers meeting to se what we can do to support organising something and we'll look for volunteers to get involved in doing so". More often than not the topic usually went away as I found that while people are quick to want such events they're not so quick to want to volunteer their time or add to their own workload to get something planned. For me that was the tell tale of how serious anyone was about actually doing something. They often just expected that I would run with it, which I knew I didn't have time for. I was always happy to support but I was never going to agree to organising it all on my own when I barely had time to get a cup of coffee during my day. Sometimes saying "No" doesn't have to look like No.

I would definitely advocate getting a social group together - people who are keen to organise activities, and who are happy to drive them. Agree the budget and what the parameters are (because: work event, work responsibilities, and all the misconduct possibilities there), and stand back.

If anyone says you ought to be MC, you can gently point them to the fact that if anything happens at a work event, you're the one that needs to be seen as a neutral point of contact, not the organiser.

I replied to your post on r/HumanResourcesUK about this!

Event organizing can almost always be delegated. I guarantee that there are people in your organization who would love to do this for you. Find them, give them a budget and some clear parameters and let them get on with it. All you have to do is check in with them occasionally to make sure they are meeting deadlines. Similar with quiz nights. There is bound to be an enthusiastic quizzer somewhere who would love to put it together.

As for public speaking, being an introvert isn't incompatible with being a confident public speaker (any more than being an extrovert makes one a good public speaker). This requires practice and exposure. Stage fright and the shakes are common to anyone new to public speaking, regardless of personality type, and they go away the more time you spend in front of an audience.

For an introvert, public speaking may be exhausting, mentally, but it isn't an unachievable skill. And for any HR professional who aspire to rise above the level of an Advisor/Coordinator it really is essential as you'll be called upon to present papers, lead training or answer questions at a tribunal.

Hi Richard,

It seems to me there are a few different elements going on here:

* your willingness to organise social events on behalf of your organisation
* your experiences and skills in event management
* your fear of public speaking

I've been in roles where I have both personally or via my team members been expected to arrange work social events. I've never liked it or really accepted it as an HR task and I don't think all HR people have the right skills to do it (I started life as a training administrator so from that perspective I do/did have a lot of the right skills, but I moved out of training admin early on because I didn't enjoy it!). If this wasn't a part of the role that was made clear to you when you applied or through selection, is there an opportunity to challenge this now? What does your manager think about this in terms of your priorities? I agree with others that forming a committee and delegating may be the best way forward.

In terms of public speaking, I agree with Robey that certain HR activities do rely on some comfort and confidence in presenting. Not everyone has to be the company quiz-master (not something I would relish!) but you may well have to present information or lead training or something more appropriate to your role. Have you thought about this as an area to develop or are you happy to stay within roles which don't need this skill?

You've some great advice and thoughts below Richard and I'd add, I'm not sure if this is really an extrovert/ introvert thing. I am quite gregarious in many ways yet I don't want to be the quiz hoster with all eyes on me yet I can facilitate a large scale event.

This feels more to me a question of expectations. Is this an unwritten part of the job? Is this an expectation in the team? How would I feel about that if it wasn't raised during my recruitment and onboarding process?

If they are looking for solutions on how to bring people together and facilitate some social interaction then you have lots of useful pointers below and I've used many of the tips personally.

As someone who has a reputation for getting things done - it's the core reason why my business survives- I have to remind myself that getting things done doesn't me always by me or that all roads lead to me.

I find lots of folks are very good at being the 'ideas factory', and as Gemma says below, less keen to support the delivery of those ideas. I accept that...and also realise that doesn't mean I have to do it as a result. Good luck.