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I need happy thoughts in these nasty times...

Teresa

OK, I’ve had enough of the ‘C’ word! I want to smile again and not feel totally stressed out for just a few minutes. 

Tell me a joke...

I’ll start.

Q: Why do Sweden, Norway, and Denmark put bar codes on all their ships?

A: So they can scan-de-navy-in...

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  • Fred buys a hamster from a pet shop. He wakes up the next morning to find it’s died, so he returns to the pet shop to complain.

    The pet shop owner tells Fred to go back home and boil the hamster up with sugar to make jam, then spread the jam over his lawn. This Fred does.

    The next morning Fred wakes up, opens the bedroom curtains, and is amazed to see the most beautiful display of daffodils he’s ever seen flowering right across his lawn. He rushes down to the pet shop to thank the owner.

    The owner is confused. He can’t understand what’s gone wrong and apologises to Fred saying that everyone knows that you get tulips from hamster jam.....
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  • Fred buys a hamster from a pet shop. He wakes up the next morning to find it’s died, so he returns to the pet shop to complain.

    The pet shop owner tells Fred to go back home and boil the hamster up with sugar to make jam, then spread the jam over his lawn. This Fred does.

    The next morning Fred wakes up, opens the bedroom curtains, and is amazed to see the most beautiful display of daffodils he’s ever seen flowering right across his lawn. He rushes down to the pet shop to thank the owner.

    The owner is confused. He can’t understand what’s gone wrong and apologises to Fred saying that everyone knows that you get tulips from hamster jam.....
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