How Can I Handle This Situation? - Feedback - Community Feedback

5 How Can I Handle This Situation?

16 Oct, 2019 10:46

My Dear Friends,

I work in HR, and I have a coworker who works in a different department and shared with me his concerns. He feels insecure about his job as his Manager keeps telling him things that discourages him and kind of keeps him insecure about his job. For example, the manager once told him that he can work without him, or asked him how long would he need to prove himself, or whether he would like to transfer to another department.

What I know about my coworker is that he has been working almost 5 years in his current field, and we transferred together to another company within the same group. However, the expectation is higher, and he was not prepared. Now, he has all this anxiety whether he will lose his job and it is also affecting his personal life.

He wouldn't like to resign, as he is not a quitter. I asked him if he is comfortable for me to speak with my manager to see how we can go about his concerns, but I am worried that it could turn against him rather than helping him.

He discussed with me his concerns not in an official meeting, and it was rather in the parking lot. I have suggested that I can check what would be the procedure to move or cross train in a different department. However, Am I supposed to inform my Manager?

Would appreciate if you could advise me if there is a better way to handle this situation as it is my first.

Thank you for the support.

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Elizabeth Divver | 0 Posts

16 Oct, 2019 19:27

Hi Eiman

Does your colleague think the manager is doing this on purpose to upset him? Is there any truth in the remarks? If it’s deliberate, it’s bullying. On the other hand, it could be that the manager is attempting to provide useful feedback. What does your colleague think? What you do depends on what is actually going on here and it’s hard to tell.
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David Perry | 0 Posts

16 Oct, 2019 20:54

Hi Eiman

We probably need a little more information as Elizabeth has mentioned. But going to your last question, should you inform your manager?, That is a matter for you and what roles/.responsibilities you have. As its probably not something that happens too often then I'd mention it to your manager - just to make sure they are happy with what you intend to do. After all you don't want your manager to be told by someone else do you?
But like Elizabeth says, it depends on the circumstances.
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Eiman Ibrahim | 0 Posts

17 Oct, 2019 06:04

In reply to Elizabeth Divver:
Hi Elizabeth, Many thanks for your guidance. As per the colleague, the manager's intentions are good but it's the way how it is delivered. However, I will check with her how she feels, whether the manager is doing this on purpose to upset him or just giving a feedback. What should I do in case of both scenarios (whether it is just a feedback or she feels that she is being bullied)? Thank you so much Elizabeth.
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Eiman Ibrahim | 0 Posts

17 Oct, 2019 06:07

In reply to David Perry:
Many thanks David for the advice. I am currently holding the role of Employee Relations Executive, where employees come back to me for any work related concerns. I have asked the colleague whether he is comfortable for me to speak with my manager about this issue, but his feedback was let's not take this approach at this time, and he would like me to check the possibilities of having cross training or moving to another department.
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Elizabeth Divver | 0 Posts

17 Oct, 2019 10:14

If the manager is just not very skilful at giving feedback, what they really need is coaching in how to do this. If your colleague doesn’t want you to raise this subject with the manager, then perhaps you could discuss with him how he could politely but assertively discuss with the manager what feedback would be most effective in helping him to improve his performance.

If your colleague is being bullied and you have become aware of it, even from a conversation in the car park, then you have to act on the knowledge. There’s a thread on this in the Discussion Threads of Note on the right hand side of the first page of this forum.

You really need to get to the bottom of what is going on here before you do anything. Talk to your colleague and find out more about what he thinks and why he thinks it, and do what you can to observe the situation for yourself.
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