Employee using in-appropriate word in daily conversations with his colleagues

Hi Shweta,

Having taught in a boys' school for many years I know how this word can be so overused and so uncomfortable to hear.

Firstly, as Keith says, is he actually using it as a swear word or is it just his way of speaking. There is a difference in how you approach the two. If he is actually swearing this could indicate personal issues and will need more careful handling. It may be that the job is beyond his ability and he's losing control, he could have anger management issues, he could be frustrated, or he could be having a personal crisis such as separation from his wife. Dealing with the personal issue should then solve the swearing problem.

If it's just the way he speaks, which is the most common reason these days, it is more difficult. Think of your language - given your organisation you probably use the term 'web based' a lot. Now imagine you had to conduct your daily life without saying this phrase. Difficult, isn't it? It would take a lot of conscious re-learning. How you do this depends on your relationship with him, and the culture of the company; if everyone's doing it then you're facing an uphill struggle.

I found the way to dramatically reduce it (you'll never stop it) was to explain the origins of the word. In Medeaval Europe (including England) there was a feudal right called 'Droit du seigneur' - the right of the Lord. This was where the Lord of the manor had the right to sleep with the bride of any one of his vassals on the first night after the wedding. This was colloquially known as *** - Fornication Under Consent of the King. I have yet to come across a male who isn't horrified by the idea when the origins are explained to him, and consequently then finds the word very distasteful and avoids using it.

A caveat: I am usually very pedantic in researching my facts, so I have to admit that with this I haven't researched it too deeply because, to be honest, I find it far too useful. Were it to be proved false I couldn't then use it with a clear conscience. It sounds logical and plausible, so in this instance that's good enough for me.

Next time he uses it, just as an aside say "Do you know where that word comes from?" and explain the story. Don't make it a big deal, it's just another piece of information. Making it a big deal gives the word power.

Good luck!

Thanks a lot Teresa. This is starting to make so much sense. Really appreciate you taking time out and helping me in this :). I will start to use that approach and see how it goes.

Thanks a lot Teresa. This is starting to make so much sense. Really appreciate you taking time out and helping me in this :). I will start to use that approach and see how it goes.