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Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Robey

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

Parents
  • "I'm not going to do your work for you" - applied in numerous circumstances

    "I really don't want to stay until 7pm on a Friday to do that" or "Wanting me to [insert nefarious task] would, in fact be illegal. No. Foxtrot Oscar" - recruitment joys!

    "I really wish you would just do as I've explained, advised and now told you to" - candidates who don't understand why they are unsuccessful, normally when it comes to CV's or Interviews.

    "No [insert name], I'm not sure it was a good idea to say during the interview that you'd rather be at home playing Fortnite but you just need dollar to pay for it, are you an idiot? Actually, rhetorical question, never mind"

    Albeit, I do have to point out when something is illegal I'm unable to do it in such a way as I wish.

    Great post Robey
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  • "I'm not going to do your work for you" - applied in numerous circumstances

    "I really don't want to stay until 7pm on a Friday to do that" or "Wanting me to [insert nefarious task] would, in fact be illegal. No. Foxtrot Oscar" - recruitment joys!

    "I really wish you would just do as I've explained, advised and now told you to" - candidates who don't understand why they are unsuccessful, normally when it comes to CV's or Interviews.

    "No [insert name], I'm not sure it was a good idea to say during the interview that you'd rather be at home playing Fortnite but you just need dollar to pay for it, are you an idiot? Actually, rhetorical question, never mind"

    Albeit, I do have to point out when something is illegal I'm unable to do it in such a way as I wish.

    Great post Robey
Children