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Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Robey

| 0 Posts

6 Jul, 2018 11:01

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

43640 views
  • Andrew James

    | 0 Posts

    20 Mar, 2019 01:40

    In reply to Helen:

    Me : This letter is a Final Written Warning about your unacceptable conduct. Do you understand the seriousness of this ?
    Employee : Yes, and by the way, I deserve a pay rise.
  • Robey

    | 0 Posts

    20 Mar, 2019 09:17

    In reply to Andrew James:

    I seem to have a lot of these. Do I really work with a higher proportion of idiots than other HR professionals? To be fair, these all come from the same group of notoriously difficult employees...

    Employee (redundant, but refusing to come to the office with his equipment): I'm entitled to keep my van until the end of my notice period.
    Me: ...
    Me: You're really not.

    This conversation went on for some time and as a masterclass in someone in a hole, yet determined to keep digging, it was weirdly fascinating.
  • Peter

    | 0 Posts

    20 Mar, 2019 09:21

    In reply to Robey:

    Ummmmm...... Maybe.

    If he was dismissed with notice, rather than dismissal with PILON (PILON being compensation for the employer's breach of contract in not giving notice, not pay), then his contract terms would continue to apply: So if his contract offers off-duty use of the van as a benefit (i.e. part of his payment) then he would be entitled to its use to the end of his notice.

    (Sorry, hair-splitting I know, but it's what I do) :-)

    P
  • Jerry

    | 0 Posts

    21 Mar, 2019 16:51

    You have essentially wasted much of your life.
  • Victoria

    | 0 Posts

    17 Apr, 2019 15:10

    In reply to Peter:

    Catching up on this post and I love the fact that Scotland's national animal is the Unicorn :)
  • Lisa

    | 0 Posts

    17 Apr, 2019 20:57

    I am the office manager in the construction industry. The new assistant administrator didn't turn up for work at 8am. At 10.50am she sent a weekly email to the team. I responded asking if she was working from home (I hadn't been asked for permission previously and was expecting her in the office). Her response? (and I quote) "Certainly looks that way". I wanted to respond "Well in the normal working world you would ask your line manager (me) for permission BEFOREHAND. I would like to see you Monday morning to give you a bo**ocking. You are hungover and if you have work the next day, you shouldn't go out on the lash". What I said was "Going forward, please ask me beforehand if you wish to work from home".
    I should add that I have the added issue that her dad works in our team and is best mates and drinking buddies with our boss....
  • Aisha Ladan-Baki

    | 0 Posts

    23 Apr, 2019 22:29

    Well there are nice choices of words to articulate anything you wish to say. As long as you’re diplomatic
  • Peter

    | 0 Posts

    23 Apr, 2019 22:38

    In reply to Aisha Ladan-Baki:

    We do not use pseudonyms on this site. (Articulating it diplomatically).

  • Aisha Ladan-Baki

    | 0 Posts

    23 Apr, 2019 22:50

    In reply to Peter:

    [deleted]
  • Peter

    | 0 Posts

    23 Apr, 2019 22:53

    In reply to Aisha Ladan-Baki:

    As I am sure the site monitor will be please to confirm. I suggest you read the site rules before posting again.
  • Aisha Ladan-Baki

    | 0 Posts

    23 Apr, 2019 23:28

    In reply to Peter:

    Sorry, I just realized my name was reading analyst. Finally found where the setting error was. I didn’t even notice my name wasn’t on it when I replied the first time. Thanks for pointing it out
  • Peter

    | 0 Posts

    24 Apr, 2019 00:11

    In reply to Aisha Ladan-Baki:

    No apology necessary Aisha. A genuine mistake. We have had a number of "rogue" postings recently, hence my being quick to respond. But let me welcome you to the Community now we both know who we are :-).

    P
  • Aisha Ladan-Baki

    | 0 Posts

    24 Apr, 2019 00:32

    In reply to Peter:

    Thank you, Im happy to be here.
  • Toria

    | 0 Posts

    29 Apr, 2019 14:41

    In reply to Robert James Munro:

    I agree with you Robert, sometimes you don't need to sugar coat, depending on your audience of course. A more direct voice often hits home.
  • Toria

    | 0 Posts

    29 Apr, 2019 14:43

    In reply to Lisa:

    Doesn't conflict of interest apply here ;)