Employee using in-appropriate word in daily conversations with his colleagues

For the record, it is an entirely false etymology.

To the comments already given by others, I would add four points:

1. If it is only this individual with this tendency, your position is stronger than if you are the only one in the office not doing it.  If, on the other hand, most people follow his example, but he just happens to be the one sitting closest to you, your position is rather weakened.  In both cases, you need to know whether you have the company culture in your favour or against it.

2. In either case, your argument will be stronger if, rather than saying "I find this uncomfortable" you can say "this is bad for business".  If your office has open phone lines or external visitors, you can make a good argument that this sort of language risks offending a customer - which is of far more interest to the business leadership than offending the HR Manager.

3. If you can't make the argument at (2), and if the corporate culture is more in his favour than yours, you will need to bear in mind the potential ramifications to you and ask yourself how you want yourself and the HR function to be viewed.  "Politically correct" is the least bad accusation that might be made.

4. In the optimistic assumption that he is sympathetic and genuinely would like to dial it down, I can recommend the use of replacement words.  I find "feth" a particularly satisfying alternative, but pretty much any swearword in German does the job, too.

Wikipedia has it's effin' uses.......

en.wikipedia.org/.../***

- personally, can't get too excited about four letter words that are merely synonymous with usual bodily functions, excepting perhaps when deployed as a substitute / cover-up for dysfunctions in the vocabulary department.

PS

Funny what one remembers from early childhood, but this little comic ditty is still imprinted in my little brain, doubtless because it was a little smutty and was at the time very topical with it - given that  (in)famous obscene book trial:

O dear, what can the matter be?

O dear, what can the matter be?

What can have happened to poor Lady Chatterley?

Banged in the woodshed from Sunday to Saturday

Using those four-letter words.

Hi Teresa

Are you not worried that one of these days you will try this technique on someone who will tell you that your derivation is incorrect? Then what will you do?

I'm with Robey: you are much more likely to effect this situation if you can demonstrate a negative effect on the business.

Hi Elizabeth,

It's never happened yet! If someone starts regularly swearing, without due cause, I will always initially respond with "Language..." delivered with a smile and a pointed look - my Paddington Bear special. If this doesn't work then I'll start with my Droit du Seigneur 'fact'. To date this has been enough (and yes Robey et al, I have already admitted here that it's incorrect, but as with all good urban myths it's perfectly logical).

Were anyone ever to challenge me with the truth I'm ready. I would reply with congratulations on being the first to do so (assuming of course that what they were saying was, in fact, the real truth). I would then ask why someone who was obviously erudite and educated felt the need to use such a dysphemism on a regular basis. However you have to have full confidence in yourself in order to appear genuinely interested and concerned.

I still think that with something like this a nudge is the best approach. Swearing like this is something that is ingrained in him, it's part of his psyche, so he must want to change it. Thayler & Sunsteins book 'Nudge' (2008) puts it like this: 'A nudge, as we will use the term, is any aspect of the choice architecture that alters people's behavior in a predictable way without forbidding any options or significantly changing their economic incentives. To count as a mere nudge, the intervention must be easy and cheap to avoid. Nudges are not mandates. Putting fruit at eye level counts as a nudge. Banning junk food does not.'

But, at the end of the day I am not in the situation that started off this thread. It may well not work here or with this person, but I can't know this. All anyone can do is suggest what has worked for them in the past; whether this will work for someone else is up to that person to decide once they've read all the options listed here.

Hi Robey, apprciate your feedback. Always good to have an outside view. I agree with all your above 4 points. Thankyou for taking time and providing guidance :).

This puts me in mind of me listening to my husband, several years ago, explaining to one of our daughters about why swearing was an issue. He said that people tend to swear when they can't find a better way of expressing themselves - either because they're caught off guard, in pain etc. And that sometimes, swearing can be cathartic on that basis (think stubbed toe).

But, if you swear a lot, you give the impression that you can't communicate well and can't think of the right way to express what you want to say. In a school or professional environment, that's not a great impression to be giving to others.

Thats such a nice way to tell :). Thankyou Nina.

The challenge I think here that a lot of people seem to be missing is that for many people now they don't see (and probably will never see) that word as swearing or offensive - its just a word they use to punctuate or empathise their normal every day speaking.

getting someone to change something they are perfectly happy with and that they think you are odd for objecting to will be very very hard. Many people will think this is your problem not theirs.

Hmm.... not sure how this got past the sensitive words filter.